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Many aspire to be great leaders, but few give much thought to being a great apprentice. Because leadership is borne through apprenticeship, the best leaders are also great apprentices.  They know that there’s always something they can learn from others and they’re not afraid to pursue it. In my earlier post, I listed three benefits to being a more intentional apprentice. But how do you become a more intentional apprentice? How can you get the most out of a relationship with a mentor? In my experiences both as an apprentice and as a mentor, I’ve found four fundamental strategies to be very effective:

1. Start small & focused. Be clear about your objective. The more focused you can be on what you want to accomplish, the more likely you’ll find a great mentor. You’ll make a better, more winsome, apprentice to your prospective mentor, too. Suppose you want to write a book and you’ve never been published. If you approach a published author or publisher and ask them to mentor you as an aspiring writer, you may not get very far. However, asking to meet with them briefly to get their perspective on which markets are best to write for, or what to look for in an agent, or the best conferences to attend, will more likely get you an audience and the possibility of a more lasting relationship. Start by asking to meet once. If that goes well, suggest a monthly or quarterly check-in. Don’t ask to meet any more often than is reasonable to accomplish your objective. Over time, your objective may grow and, with it, their commitment to meet with you as well.
2. Pursue the best mentors possible. When you want to excel in a particular skill, select a mentor from the highest shelf your network will support. The right mentor for you may be someone you know, or, perhaps more likely, someone separated by one degree–known by someone you know. Ask your network to help you accomplish your objective. For example, “Who do you know that might help me evaluate literary agents?” Don’t be surprised if you get some pretty incredible names. Many in your network will love to show off the superstars they know. Don’t let their superstar status or busy schedule intimidate you. The best mentors are busy people. But they’ll take time for those who are serious about achieving their objectives. Many are like the prettiest girl in high-school who never got asked out on a date simply because the boys assumed she was already taken. Good mentors, however, were usually mentored themselves and are eager to share their experiences to those who ask.
3. Be a learner. This seems rather obvious, but I’m always amazed at how many times I’ve met with someone who requested a meeting, only to find that they didn’t have a clear reason to meet. The conversation awkwardly fumbles about until I finally ask, “Why did you want to meet me?” Conversely, I’m always impressed by those who have prepared questions listed out ahead of time. The simple act of opening a notebook with prepared questions speaks loudly about their attitude and their respect for my time.
4. Own the pursuit. Like a good salesperson, always own the pursuit. As the apprentice, it’s your job to set the appointments and topics you’d like to explore. If you’re expecting a mentor to take the lead, you’re looking for the wrong mentor. At the end of each meeting, suggest a topic for the next, and always send an email to confirm your appointment. It will show your eagerness to learn and will create anticipation for your mentor too.

One final thought about intentional apprenticeship. Over the last thirty years, I’ve learned from some really stellar mentors. They’ve taught me as much about myself as they have the objectives I’ve discussed with them. One of the things I discovered is that it’s easy to look at their successes and compare them with my own–and come up short. (Remember, we’re reaching from the highest shelf.) That kind of comparison produces only envy or resentment, neither of which is helpful as an intentional apprentice. The best antidote to envy and resentment, however, is thanksgiving. So end every session expressing your thanks to them for their assets of wisdom and knowledge that benefits your personal growth.

As an intentional apprentice, what other strategies have you found helpful?

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For years I’ve been meeting with people just like you. They know there’s a lot more potential in their tank than they’re currently releasing; and it bothers them. They know something is holding them back. Fear? Lack of a plan? Little encouragement from others? Maybe all of these.

I designed the Dream Intensive to tackle these issues head-on. It’s a highly creative and interactive exploratory of the dream God’s planted in your heart. It will help you create greater clarity of your dream and how to pursue it—even if you’re not aware that you have one. This is the workshop that I want to go to for my own dream. Because it’s highly participative, the enrollment is limited to 20 people, Christian adult men and women, who want to experience breakthrough in their life.

If that sounds appealing to you, I invite you to visit the Dream Intensive website at www.dreamintensive.com to learn more.

I hope to see you on October 14th at the Dream Intensive.

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A couple of years ago, I launched The Year of Living Courageously workshop, after discovering and applying some biblical principles that rocked my approach to personal goal setting. (You can read about that journey here.) Having a YLC plan and two other guys to meet with regularly about it has helped me keep my focus and energy on some pretty courageous goals. But it also takes more than a plan to live intentionally, so I’ve also added four habits of thought to my daily routine. These habits — choices really — form what I call the Four Pillars of Intentional Living, and I’m eager to share them with you.

On September 17-18th, I’ll be presenting a new workshop, the Intentional Man Workshop, that combines the Four Pillars with an extended, more hands-on, edition of the Year of Living Courageously workshop. It’s an intensely practical application of biblical principles applied to your personal development and goal setting. I invite you to visit the workshop website at IntentionalMan.com and join me and the men of Emmanuel Baptist Church in Virginia, Minnesota for the inaugural offering.

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When I was a young man I had my dream house all scoped out—three wings, indoor-outdoor pool, bowling alley, and, since I had an interest in astronomy, an observatory on one end. I held on to that dream right up until the time I had my first apartment in college. It was then that the practicalities of earning an independent living recast how I imagined my future domicile. Making it to the end of the month as a student with food in the refrigerator was the dream du jour. Thirty years later that dream home’s a distant memory—as are some of the other unattained aspirations I held. It’s far easier to resign to fear and a sense of inadequacy than to pursue a vision unrelentingly day after day. And I don’t think I’m alone. As Kierkegaard pointed out, most of us are living fearfully below our potential. That observation inspires me today to try to reignite a spark among those I encounter with a reminder of the dream they can still yet become.

Your thoughts? Who might you inspire with a reminder of the great things that God might still want to do through them?

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Fifteen years later, AT&T’s vision of the future is now passé. For each of those You Wills, we already have — with two differences. First, most of the experiences with technology we enjoy today are much better than AT&T envisioned. They could see only dimly what the future would hold.  Second, by and large, AT&T was not the company to bring it to us. Their vision was largely delivered by companies that weren’t even around in 1993. In fact, the more cynical among us would argue that it wasn’t even really AT&T’s vision — they merely borrowed from others for the expedience of marketing their brand.

Notwithstanding the commercial motivations for the ad, it occurs to me that this video holds two reminders for us bold adventurers as we dream about and work toward the future. First, no matter how we envision it, as long as we remain yielded to God’s leading, our future will always be better than we can imagine. The Apostle Paul reminds us that God “is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine” (Eph 3:20). Second, as was the case with AT&T, we are not the only ones building that future. He is working His dream out through the members of His body in ways He chooses and we can’t conceive.

Just as it sounds silly to hear AT&T promise to be the sole deliverer of technological wonders, it’s equally silly for us to believe that we are to deliver God’s dream alone as well.  While each of us have our own path to walk, we best do so in the context of community. Because dreams shared by many make a better future than dreams imagined alone, that’s really good news.  It also makes our encounters with others more stimulating.  Someone we will soon meet may carry the seed of our dream into the future.   And the dreams of someone we already know may be the inspiration for our next adventure.  The key is the willingness to release our dreams into others and to receive theirs for us in return.

SOUND OFF:  Have you been inspired recently by encounters with others that have given new perspectives on your dream?

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