Recently, I met with a CEO to explore whether our consulting firm could help his firm launch a new offering they were bringing to market. He and his marketing director were explaining their approach when I opened my mouth and stepped right in it. Lobbying for an alternate approach for them to consider, I filibustered the conversation with my opinion on market trends and ideas like competitive sustainability. The CEO politely listened, then explained why my idea wouldn’t work. Undaunted, and convinced I was on to something, I kept at it, offering counterpoints to his rationale. “If only he could understand the logic of what I’m suggesting, he’ll see I’m right,” I reasoned. Judging from the tone of the conversation that ensued, it was a bad call.

Regardless of whether I was “right”, in the words of this proverb, I failed to cherish understanding. How much more winsome I might have been for our firm had I sought to be more inquisitive and less desirous of being correct. In the words of St. Francis:

O divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;

Your thoughts? How might you practice inquisitiveness with those you are with today?

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Maybe it’s the economy with its high unemployment, but lately I’ve been hearing from a lot of people who are considering starting their own business. Having begun a few of my own, they ask my advice. It’s always the same: “Come on in. The water’s warm.” And when I follow that remark with, “Sharks also live in warm waters,” their countenance quickly changes. In the fifteen years of running my own businesses and learning things the hard way, I’ve been bitten by a few of those sharks.

If you’re contemplating venturing out on your own, congratulations! It can be one of the most rewarding—and challenging—adventures of your life. Before you commit to the leap, however, there are three questions you might want to ask yourself:

• Am I compelled? If you’re not saying to yourself, “I must do this,” you may not yet have the emotional fortitude for what’s to come. In my opinion, you have to be absolutely convinced that starting your own business is something you need to do. There are so many things that will go “bump in the night,” that you’ll need to rely on the confidence you once felt to get you through the tough times along with the long hours. When I left corporate America fifteen years ago, I knew I wanted to start my own business. Running an intrapreneurial business unit within the safety of a large corporation had given me a taste that I knew couldn’t be quenched with a corporate job. In fact, I knew if I had taken another job, I would have done my employer a disservice because my heart would not have been in the work at hand. Instead, like an unfaithful man on the prowl, I would be always wondering if now was the time to take the leap.
• Have I listened? One of the best ways to know if you’re ready to take the leap is to ask others. The key here is in how you listen and respond to what they tell you. Being in business for yourself means perfecting the art of listening. You need to contemplate, then refine the products and services you deliver, based on feedback you get from the market. Why not apply those skills even before you get started with your most important allies?
• Your family. If you’re married, and especially if you have children, these are the most important people in your life to listen to. They, perhaps even more than you, will pay the price for your adventure. You’ll need their support, especially when times get tough. And while they probably won’t be putting in time at the office, they’ll be making sacrifices right along with you, albeit without the emotional rewards that you’ll be experiencing.
• Your friends. Friends who know you well and are willing to be candid with you can be an invaluable help in assessing your readiness for business. Be careful, however, because your friends are friends for a reason. They may not be the most objective and may be more inclined to see you only in your past or current occupation. This may limit the value of their input, especially if you’re contemplating a significant shift from your past endeavors.
• Your forerunners. Find others that have gone out before you, especially those who’ve started businesses similar to what you are contemplating. Most entrepreneurs love to talk about how they got started in business and are eager to help others avoid swimming near the sharks they’ve seen.
• Do I have a plan? Lack of planning was perhaps the biggest mistake I made in starting my first business. Mine was a blind leap fueled by enthusiasm and over-inflated self confidence. I so desperately wanted to run my own company (see number 1 above) that it almost didn’t matter what it was. Consequently, I had a lot of on-the-job training, and the wages to match. My take home pay for the first three months approached a whopping thirty-five cents an hour. One of the best ways to avoid those start-up costs is to do as much up-front work as possible even before you leave your current employer. Conducting research, talking to people, building a business plan, reading books, etc. are all good probes to put in the water before you leap. As J. Wallace Day once said, “It takes a fool to test how deep the water is with both feet.”

While answering these questions before you leap won’t make you shark-proof, from my experience you’ll at least be less likely to be swallowed whole by them.

If you’ve already taken the leap, what advice would you also give to those considering getting into the water?

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Listening is a muscle. If not purposefully exercised, it will atrophy. That’s why Jesus commanded his disciples to pay close attention to how they listen. It was the bottom line of his now infamous parable of the sower—a farmer’s yield is directly related to the type of soil the seed lands upon (Luke 8:5-8). Seed on a path produces nothing, while seed in rich soil flourishes. The experiential truth of that story in their agrarian society was obvious. But they were perplexed by its deeper meaning. “The seed is the Word of God,” Jesus explained to his disciples (Luke 8:11) and, like a lamp on a stand, it illuminates and discloses truth that would otherwise remain hidden to whose heart is not inclined to receive it (Luke 8:16-17). That Jesus expected his followers to exercise their listening muscle was evident by his response to Peter’s request to explain another parable: “Are you still so dull?” (Matt 15:16). As a professed life-long learner and follower of Christ, that question pierces me today and makes me ponder how much my insight has atrophied because I’ve grown dull.

Your thoughts? How’s your exercise program going in this area?

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Do you start your prayer time by talking? I often do. There are many things in my life for which I need His divine intervention and guidance. I have my to-do list for God and I rarely hesitate bringing it to Him. Jesus encouraged us to ask freely (Matt 7:7), but He also said that His sheep know and listen to His voice (John 10:27). How can I possibly hear what God wants for me if my prayer time is merely a filibuster of what I want from Him? The verse that follows in Ecclesiastes is a good reminder: “Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few.” (Eccl 5:2)

Your thoughts? What are ways you’ve found to help you better hear from God?

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I’m sure you’ve heard it said that we serve a God who hears our prayers. But have you ever thought about the fact that He is a God who also listens? As an omniscient God who knows everything, He never needs to listen to us—He already knows our thoughts even before we think them. Yet, God still delights in listening to us as we pour out our hearts to Him. Never once will God say to us in a condescending way, “You’ve told Me this before,” or “If you’ve told Me once, you’ve told Me a million times.” No topic ever gets too old for God to listen to—He never grows weary of our prayers. Instead, He embraces us, choosing to listen to us with grace and compassion as we reveal to Him what He already knows. What a testament to God’s insurmountable love and patience!

Your thoughts? How might the idea of an attentive God change your prayer life?

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Most of us are learning disabled—by design. That’s because our brains are wired for speed. Over 100 billion neurons, connected by one quadrillion synapses, process approximately 100 trillion bits of information per second. The processing power of the human brain is unmatched by even the fastest supercomputers. Yet, all that power creates enormous excess capacity when it comes to listening. After accounting for comprehension, our brains think at a rate of about 500 words per minute—four times faster than the average person speaks. The result? While our over-productive brains are instructing our heads to give an attentive nod on the outside, on the inside we’re thinking, “Enough already! Finish your sentence so I can tell you all the great things I just thought about while you were talking.” And therein, according to Larry King, is when we disable our learning.

Your thoughts? What opportunities will you have today to be “quick to listen and slow to speak” (James 1:19)?

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Our family is fortunate to share our secluded suburban property with an astonishing array of wildlife. Deer, fox, wild turkey, rabbits, duck, geese, egrets, and herons are all frequent visitors. In his youth, our dog, an American Staffordshire Terrier, would give them chase. Twelve years later, age and cataracts have dampened both Casey’s vision and inclination. That was, until we had an unexpected visitor.

My neighbor dropped by recently while on a walk with his daughter. “Did you notice there’s a swan in your pond?” he asked. Astonished, I went around to the backyard and saw this amazingly large and beautiful creature. Apparently, our shortsighted dog hadn’t noticed it either—until I went inside to get my camera. By the time I returned, Casey had leapt through his “invisible fence” and was dog-paddling toward the middle of the pond in pursuit of his prey.

No shouts from his master standing on the shore would deter him. He paddled relentlessly onward. As he neared his target, the swan rose up and flew to the other side of the pond, as if to mock his doggedness. Undaunted, Casey changed course and continued the pursuit. More calls from his master. No effect. My cataract-laden dog had apparently lost his hearing, as well.

It occurred to me, after witnessing several of these course corrections, that Casey would either get the swan or die trying. At his age, the latter was more likely. Since I didn’t have the heart to tell my daughter that her dog had drowned himself from fatigue and my neighbor had no interest in explaining our dog’s death to his four-year old, we both piled into my paddle-boat to rescue “Dumb Dog” (as I was now calling him).

As I reflected on our excursion, it occurred to me that God often rescues Dumb Me from similar pursuits. There He is, standing on the shore, calling my name, and there I am, pushing blindly ahead toward an ever evasive goal.

Even as we drew near in our boat, Dumb Dog would ignore us and deadly fatigue in favor of the elusive swan. Not until we positioned the boat on an intercept course could we divert his attention.

Now I’m wondering, What swans am I pursuing so doggedly that I can no longer hear the Master’s voice calling from the shore? Who might He have put on an intercept course to rescue me with the truth? And, Am I open to evaluate the direction I am pursuing in my life? Proverbs 12:15 says, “The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice.”

Perseverance is a godly trait; obstinance is a “dogly” trait. The difference always has been listening for and obeying the Master’s voice.

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